Just Me

“If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.”
-Paulo Coelho

Years ago I was offered advice to write down all of the things that I wanted in my life within the following five years, seal it up and wait to open it. I stumbled across this list recently when I was organizing my office (and ironically right before leaving on my first solo vacation in over a decade). Clearly marked, “Open October 2016.” Given that the deadline had passed six months prior, I opened to see my dreams unfold.

Listed: to have found love; to be married with a child or one on the way; health; working part-time doing something that I love; security in myself; sober; have a dog and cat; feel happy.

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Self-love is Not Selfish

selfieFor a long time I didn’t love myself. I understood that I had a lot to offer the world, but I couldn’t feel it in my heart. My sense of self-worth was low, and I didn’t know any different way of being.

Once I realized that it was an issue, I began working on growing my self-esteem. Paradoxically I became more and more fearful. Why? Because I confused self-worth with selfishness. I was fearful that if I loved myself or allowed myself to shine, I would be an egotistical *!$#@# and no one would want to be around me. What I realized was that I was becoming that egotistical, selfish person by NOT loving myself! I was focused on self in a negative way instead of a positive – and it was taking far more energy and time. Being able to see this truth and pattern opened me to live a different way.

My heart is happiest when I’m helping others. In order to do that, I have to help and love myself.

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